| The Beauty of Self Control |
Chapter 9 |
Page 7 |
If we think our neighbours are hard to live with, they probably think the same of us; then who shall tell in whom lies the greater degree of fault? It is certain at least that a really good natured person can rarely ever be drawn into a quarrel with anyone. He is resolutely determined that he will not be a partner in any unseemly strife. He would rather suffer wrongfully than offer any retaliation. He has learned to bear and to forbear. Then by his gentle tact he is able to conciliate those who are angry.
The fault must never be ours, if there is a difference or a quarrel which we cannot compose. “As much as in us lies,” St. Paul tells us, “we should be at peace with all men.” A wise man says, “Every man takes care that his neighbours shall not cheat him, but a day comes when he begins to take care that he does not cheat his neighbours. Then all goes well. He has changed his market cart into a chariot of the sun.” So long as a man sees only the quarrelsome temper of his neighbour he is not far toward saintliness; but when he has learned to watch and to try to control his own temper, and to weep over his own infirmities, he is on the way to God, and will soon conquer his own weakness. We find in the end that it is ourselves that needs watching.
Life is too short for us to spend even one day or one hour of it in bickering and strife; love is too sacred to be lacerated and torn by the ugly briers of sharp temper. Surely we ought to learn to be patient with others, since God has to show every day such infinite patience toward us. Is not the very essence of true love the spirit that is not easily provoked, that beareth all things? Can we not, then, train our lives to sweeter gentleness? Can we not learn to be touched even a little roughly without resenting it and growing angry? Can we not bear little injuries and apparent injustices without flying into an unseemly rage? Can we not have in us something of the mind of Christ which will enable us, like him, to endure all wrong and injury, and give back no word or look of bitterness? The way over which we and our friend walk together is too short to be spent in wrangling.
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